I swerved & missed her, pulled to the burm and hopped out to do my thing & I have Laura-Lynn call 911 in the process.
A few others stop, one being a pick up with all kinds of shit in the back. I grabed about a 2 foot metal hunk of something and I busted out the front passenger window (yes, I tried before I pried) reached in & unlocked the door then climbed inside. I do a quick once over of the boy who wasn't crying at all..just lookin at me like "who the hell are you" and mom who was screaming and obviously in pretty good pain and concerned with her child. I assured her he was all right, and calmed her down as best I could. Even after just a quick once over I felt he would be just fine.....it's amazing how resilient kids are.
A few minuets pass and the medics show up, and then the fire dept. The fire dept. shows up in a early 90s commercial cab engine....a small one at that. From the size and type of apparatus, I assume they are there for fire suppression and expect at least something resembling a rescue would show up to perform the (rescue) tool work, after all this is a major interstate....but, unfortunately this would not be the case.
Theses back ass lookin country bumpkins fall out of what I would consider a poor excuse for an engine, onto the highway, stumble around like the Keystone Cops then eventualy manage to find and place into service portable power plant and a combi-tool. (short fir combination tool, it combines the abilities of the cutters and the spreaders) They fire it up & it sounds way different than it should, almost like a small Harley. So I looked at the power plant a little closer and notice the "after market" (obviously more like home made) muffler on the side and as it registers in my head what it is I'm looking at, I hear one of the toothless heroes say in his back hills accent "Damn! That some bitch sounds purdy good don't it?".....honestly, you can't make this shit up.
Now, as far as the damage to the vehicle, from a professional stand point, the front door needs to go, and there's about 18" of intrusion at the bottom of the "B" post, and it's buckled in such a way that you can't get at it without removing both drivers side doors. So it's a quick pop of the front and back doors, (both of which had picture perfect purchase points as if the Gods of vehicle rescue placed them there...that's the point in wich you set your tool to begin extrication), next remove the "B" post and while someone's making the cut, some one else can be untangling her feet from the pedals. Next, remove the patient......an operation that should take no more than 10 min, maybe 15 min tops.
These guys however, were in no hurry and as I would soon find out, had no clue. They attacked at the "B" post wich is now just a smashed pilar if wrinkled metal, and with out really looking at it, you couldn't see a separation between the front & rear doors. It took Larry, Darrel & Darrel about 10 minuets to pop the drivers door and it didn't matter because the car was so buckled that even if you bent the hinges back, the door wouldn't open far enough to get her out, not to mention the "B" post was right next to her head, and that hindered her extraction.....I was dumb founded,
Standing next to the medic I said "DUDE! There's no way in hell we're getting her out of there." The Medic, Matt was his name, a nice guy and obviously seasoned medic, he just shook his head and mumbled "un-fucking-believable"
I asked "Can't you say something?!"
He gave me a cliff-notes version of an interdepartmental scuffle where the responding fire company, Larry, Darrel & Darrel's company, was almost shut down but they managed to keep it open and feel everyone's out to get them, making it next to impossible to work with them on scene yada yada yada. (Yes folks, this petty shit actually takes place when lives are on the line...it's pathetic, I know)
"Uhh, oohkay....I replied...
So i do the logical thing and look for the officer in charge, their Chief.....and, well, he and I didn't say much.....in fact he didn't say a damn thing at all....ever, actually, he looked just as "amazed" as the fellow civilians who stopped with me & have never seen the "jaws of life" up close & personal.
Now, I am well aware of public Safety etiquette; "Thou shall not tell someone how to do their job while on scene in their district, (or in my case state) because everyone does it differently, BUT....in this case I had seen enough & it was OBVIOUS these fuckwads didn't have the slightest clue what they were doing, and chances were, someone's getting hurt. And judging from the medics comments and non verbals, I knew my assumption couldn't be far off.
So the only thing I could do next....start barkin orders. Now, it's not my place nor my demeanor to "butt in" on someone else's call, but it was bad, going to worse ....how ever, on a positive note.......they pulled the pre connected tool from their engine.....a step in the right direction, 10 min late, but still a step.
I told them to take the back door at the pin (latch) and they did....text book pop....even heard the guy on the tool say "well aint dat jus slicker en pig shee-it....that some bitch popped right off a dair Doo-wayne"
And "Doo-wayne" replied "what choo talkin bout" an obvious clue he wasn't paying attention. In fact, good ol "Doo-Wayne"had not been paying much attention since he arrived on scene. He had gotten him self pinned between the door & the tool on the first door pop attempt. (one of the cardinal rules of using rescue tools, NEVER place yourself between the tool & the vehicle)
The guy on the tool then switches to the cutters to take the "B" post and starts cutting into the car with the tips of the cutters (weakest part, they can break & send chunks of metal flying at great speed...not good, not to mention the back door is still attached to the post) I yelled "HEY! Hold up there Billy-Bob... (yes, I really did call him that, and honestly, he didn't seem to mind).....First, you need to totaly remove the back door." So Billy Bob takes the cutters and cuts the hinges. The door falls to the ground and Billy Bob steps onto the door and positions himself to cut the post.
"STOP!" I yelled, " Get that door the hell out of here, then make the cut, and when you go at the post, open the cutters as far as they'll go, then make your cut, and move up closer to her head (he was positioned mid-point to cut the post)
Billy-Bob asked "What bout Miss Lady's head? So I told him to have someone guid the cutter blade past her head with their hand. Clearly confused, Ol Billy Bob asks "But won't that cut the hand off instead?" Rather than explaining to process, it was easier for me to do it & show him... "Ooooh, I get it now....between the blade and the head..."
He finally gets through the in 3 cuts...not bad considering. Now it's time to cut the bottom of the post....this was another ordeal. 3 guys, who had obviously seen the benefits of understanding vehicle rescue, and now wanting to be the "hero" start fighting over who gets to cut & how.
The Medic chimes in...."Guys....it doesn't matter who, let's just get it done!"
Billy Bob stays on the tool...places the jaws on the post just above the rocker panel, then looks back at me and the medic, obviously looking for an "OK" so I give him a nod and he begins to make the cut. He finishes that, then looks back again for direction...so I tell him to do the same thing from the back side and he does. After this cut, he looks back and tells me it's no the whole way through. I explain how to reposition the tool and "connect" the two cuts. And in a few short minuets, the "B" post is removed.
Finally, we are to remove the Lady from the car and get her into the ambulance and on to better care. And the little boy was just fine.
Point if the story us this, it takes more than a shiny red fire truck and fancy tools to be a firefighter. There is training, lots of training. And more importantly, an understanding of the bigger picture. As it has traditionally been, there is a great sense of pride in our company and what we do. And every firehouse in America thinks they're the best in town....but never should that pride be prioritized over the well being of the patient.
